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(Frank Wildhorn/Jack Murphy)

I've never had much luck regarding ladies
Don't understand them, I must confess
The Judys. Janes or Maryanns and Sadies
Add up to trouble in a dress...

I start out optimistic, in matters of romance
But when I hear those violins, then loves beguine begins
The same old song, the same old dance

A dame will try and change you
A dame will bend your ear
A dame will turn you upside down, then run you out of town
You get the message loud and clear

She needs a sentimental, gentle sensitive guy
Who's just a little bit shy
Someone who's caring, daring, handsome and strong
Who will admit that he's wrong
And guys like us don't stand a chance
It's the same old song and dance

A dame will ask you questions, and then it's bombs away
Like who's that girl you're lookin' at?
Does this make me look fat?
You lose no matter what you say

A dame will drive you batty, as crazy as a loon
The music in your heart goes 'round, that old familiar sound
Strike up the band and start the tune

She needs a sentimental, gentle sensitive Pete
To knock her right off her feet
Someone who's caring, sharing, daring somebody who'll
Become her personal fool
And guys like us don't stand a chance
With that same old song and dance

Can't live with or live without the thing about 'em is this
Don't forget every Mrs. once was a Miss
Two bit floozies and high class doozies sexy Susies from France
All teach that same old song and dance

Why do I keep on falling?
Well don't you think it strange?
Why don't I walk right out that door
And don't come back for more
That song and dance ain't gonna change

She needs a sentimental, gentle, sensitive kind
Somebody she'll never find
She wants a lovey. dovey conversationalist
A guy who doesn't exist
Still I would jump at one more chance
At that same old song and dance

“Hey va va voom, smell that perfume!
Hello romance...same song, same dance!